Flying Under the Radar: Important Considerations for High-Profile Divorce Clients in Today's Social Media-Hungry World
When I began practicing family law more than forty years ago, the way we communicated with each other was quite a bit different from what it is today. Back then, we relied largely on landline phones and the U.S. mail; we would only later graduate to fax machines, pagers, and (gasp) e-mail! Most of our communication took place in conversations that left no record. Now, with email, voicemail, the Internet, and social media, many of us leave a permanent and somewhat public trail of our thoughts and activities.
For high-profile couples, public-facing posts can complicate their divorce and create unwanted reputational risk. While the world may be interested in the behind-closed-doors goings-on of celebrities and the rich and famous, the couples involved would most often prefer to fly under the radar.
The simple rule of thumb that I share with my clients in divorce cases is: do not post anything. Avoid social media, period! But for some, that can be a bridge too far.
Consider the Risk
When a high-profile client sits down across from me for the first time, reputation is rarely the first thing on the table. The pain is. That is human, and I do not fault anyone for it. I am quick to remind these clients that a lot is at stake in a divorce and that it is important to consider the implications of every decision.
One of the calculations people frequently get wrong is weighing the fight in front of them against the settlement amount or court determination without accounting for the impact of that fight on their reputation. Though a divorce battle is largely conducted in private, once it enters the courtroom, it becomes part of the public record. Of course, some people choose to air their dirty laundry as a tactic to gain the upper hand.
In one recent case, I convinced a client that it was in his best interests to settle with his soon-to-be ex rather than face off in court. I explained that by going to court, he risked being accused of things that could cause reputational harm. Even though most of what his spouse would reveal was likely untrue, and he could sling the same mud at her, it would still impugn his name in the court of public opinion. Was it really worth this risk?
The exposure runs further than clients may expect. A domestic violence order can end a person's employment. Substance abuse issues that have been kept quiet may now be exposed to the public. And accusations of mistreatment of children can have significant consequences for those individuals whose livelihoods are tied to public perception.
The Value of Having a Crisis Management PR Professional on Your Team
It should go without saying that every client needs a strong attorney (as strong as they can afford), and with them, a team that includes a forensic accountant and a therapist (assuming the client can afford them). However, in high-profile divorces, having a public relations professional who specializes in crisis management is an important addition. My recommendation is to bring such a person in at the beginning of the case rather than waiting until an unflattering story breaks in the news or on social media. Once negative press gets out, the narrative quickly slips out of the team’s control, which is why it is better to have a professional in place who can respond at a moment’s notice.
According to highly experienced public relations pro Daryl McCullough, CEO of McGriffin Media, a PR/crisis management professional can often intervene before a story breaks and help shape it in a more positive light. “Reporters typically reach out before a story runs to seek a reaction from the target of the piece. A public relations professional can sometimes persuade the reporter that there is no story after all, or, at the very least, provide context that helps paint a fairer picture. Having someone who can engage with the press from the outset is crucial, as the first version becomes the lasting one. This is the story that other outlets will draw from. It is better to be proactive than reactive,” explained McCullough.
It is important to note that not every publicist is the right publicist. Crisis management is a specialty, and there are PR firms with professionals who specialize in it. The PR professional who makes press announcements or books media interviews/appearances is not necessarily the one who handles a crisis. It is also vital to have close coordination between the PR professional(s) and the lead attorney, who is in charge of the overall strategy of your case.
Discretion Is Not a Retreat
When it comes to negative press or social media posts, controlling the narrative is mostly an exercise in restraint. When something breaks or is posted, three questions should be asked before any response is made. The first is whether to respond. The second, when. And third, how. If the goal is to shut down a media frenzy, and it nearly always is, each answer has to be strategic. Rebuttal may feel good, but it also gives the reporter or poster a second bite at the apple, while handing opposing counsel a document with your name on it.
Saying nothing can be the hardest thing. For many clients, not responding feels like weakness. They have built careers on answering, on correcting the record, on defending themselves, and now their lawyer is telling them to hold still while somebody else talks. Discretion is not a retreat. It is control over timing, and timing is the only real leverage anyone has in a public fight. The person who does not have to react is the person who already decided what mattered, months ago, with counsel, on a quiet afternoon when nothing was on fire.
One final thought about restraint. While it may be tempting to blast your ex on social media, remember that others, including family members and friends, will see it too, and it could very well reach your children. Maybe not now, if they are very young, but as we know, the Internet is forever, so one day, your kids may discover what was posted. You will have long since moved on, but your children will be forced to relive the trauma through your words. And even in real time, other parents can share the posts with their children, who end up discussing the drama in school where your client’s children attend. Multiple famous people we all would recognize have had their reputations and family dynamics damaged in this manner. If you really care about your children, and I suspect you do, then put down the flamethrower. Discretion is truly the better part of valor.
Please note: The content and views expressed here are my own and do not reflect or represent the positions, strategies, views, or opinions of Blank Rome LLP.